I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
