And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
