Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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