Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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