Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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