What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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