her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
