so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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