Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
