yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
only you would photoshop your dick
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
