Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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