I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
