You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
