No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
