I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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