i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
