I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
