I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
