i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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