at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
