there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
