I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
