I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
