we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
