I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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