Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
