I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize