yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
