and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
As shirtless as possible
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
