worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize