Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize