Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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