Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Help. Why am I so naked?
Two words: nipple clamps
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