Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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