i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize