how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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