I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sorry about my life...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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