I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
