We're facebook friends in real life
just tell him i said nine months
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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