i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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