Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's blow job season.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
