I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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