I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
