So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
