I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
