Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
