How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
