His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
