we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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