I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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