it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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