Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
