ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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