Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
as a side note pls kill me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
