Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
