All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
