So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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