i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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