Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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