Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
