sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
