If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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