Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
