everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
