Yo dont text me then not text me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
