I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
