Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
