so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
