I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
