So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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